I am addicted to sugar.
Literally.
I realised this horrifying factoid a couple of weeks ago after a long and shitty day at work, when I was on the bus home and thinking about gorging myself on the chocolate biscuits I planned to buy at Coles that evening as a way of curing my short-lived depression.
But the first step to overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem, so: My name is Jetsam, and I am addicted to sugar.
So I’m going to try and overcome sugar. But I googled “sugar addiction”, and not only are most Westerners apparently hooked on white gold, I read that it’s harder to quit that heroin. WTF? I mean, doesn’t quitting heroin leave you with, like, uncontrollable shivers and psychosis?
Anyway, another site advised that I should try giving up sugar for 10 days. Which I attempted to do. I got about two seconds into the 10 days before I started scoffing sweet treats again. Which indicates that, yes, I am completely hooked on the stuff.
At this point I should probably mention that today I ate an ENTIRE PACKET of chocolate biscuits. God, I am a disgusting pig. But I tried to be all healthy too by eating a can of tuna in springwater, and as soon as I peeled back the lid I knew it was going to be the most revolting thing ever. It looked like that scene in Hostel where the Japanese girl has her eye hanging out of her gore-splattered face, and it tasted like the pickled intestines of a tomcat that’s been rotting in a septic tank for a couple of months. So clearly this whole “quitting sugar” deal is going to be harder than I anticipated.
Rachel said
Oh my goodness…I was so happy to see this. I am a COMPLETE Sugar addict. I am a 26 year old female–and to make matters worse I’m slim so everyone thinks it’s so cool that I eat ice cream every day for lunch and every other day binge on donuts, snickers ice cream cones, pizza hut pan pizzas, etc… The other day I decided it was now or never and I was going to start eating high protein (and carbs because I work out) – after being a vegetarian for 9 years. Well I made it 2 hours into the day before I almost passed out in one of my doctor’s offices (i’m a pharmaceutical rep). I barely made it through the day and with his advice began day two consuming more food and as much protein as possible.. I made it 3 hours into day two before I sped to the local dairy queen and convenient store for every donut, ice cream, and sugary confection known to man. I am really beginning to think this isn’t going to be possible…am I gonna be a sugar addict for life. I may need to take a week off of work for SUGAR REHAB…ahh…please keep me updated if you have any positive progress/suggestions; i’d love the motivation